The Best Gift You Can Give
My son and daughter, twins, age 6, asked me what I wanted for Valentine’s Day. I said, hugs. “Awe daddy! We mean a real gift!” they replied, as if both were singing from a hymnal. The ensuing debate as to why a hug is really a gift (our daughter arguing for! Our son against!) was interesting, and funny. If you’re into tracking first graders’ logic.
Their banter did cause me to wander, however, through my memories of holidays past, what was my most memorable gift?
Leafing through my memory banks it was easy to by-pass dinner present exchanges that were at the ebb of a few relationships. Homemade cards (which were cute and heartfelt in years one and two but got old in years three to seven) after a while loss their luster. The same is true for the contributions to my dragon collection. Again, great in year one. Predictably not so, in the years following. All gestures easily by-passed, in my mind.
Here’s my list (advisory, some are not suitable for those sensitive to sexual inferences), in no particular order:
One of the most memorable gift’s were journal books, with an inscription from the giver, “Write! With Love, XXX.“ They were gifts that let me know the giver had paid attention to me. It was a gift that affirmed and encouraged my dreams. On their face, maybe they cost twenty-five to thirty dollars. They were worth so much more, however.
Many of you might remember O. Henry’s Gift of the Magi, the story of the young couple who sacrificed their most prized possession to give the other a gift they wanted. For me, it was a surprise birthday dinner party given by a woman who had to sacrifice to afford it. A cake, some sodas and chips were shared by her kids, her best friend and her boyfriend, me and her. We played games, told stories, and laughed a whole lot. It was the unexpected kindness that made the gift memorable.
Remember I said, I collect dragons. Well. here’s an exception to thet point of view. Once a friend gave me a dragon she’d found in Thailand earlier that year. That means my friend thought enough of me to buy me a gift while touring one of the most beautiful countries in the world. Then held on to it, waiting to gave it to me as a birthday. Giving stuff that people collect is made memorable by the effort put into getting it.
Gifts that come unexpectedly, surprises, can turn small gifts into epic memories. My girlfriend, already late getting back to her job from the lunch I’d fixed for her, dropping to her knees, saying I’ll take my dessert now did exactly that. The card she slid under my door after the door closed told me more about what we meant to her than she’d said in the two years I’d known her. As did her last kiss. Remember, I did say the surprise can say a lot if the thought that accompanies it gives the other what they need.
For some, memorable gifts are expensive gifts. And though I can appreciate bling, it really ain’t my thing. For me, it’s about does the gift say you’ve paid attention to me. The all expenses paid trips to nice resorts I’ve received were most appreciated, however not the most memorable. Now that does not mean that an expensive gift can not be memorable. A Black pearl ring I left on the bathroom sink before going to work one day, made my ex pretty happy. It was unexpected. And came after my absence had left her alone to prepare for an impending move. It was the sentiment of appreciation that made the gift more than bling.
Yes, it may be corny but for many people it’s the thought that is the real gift. Especially when the gift comes from someone who has little to give. The gift, small and sincerely given, will always outdistance the costly gift given by someone of means.
Al Fin
I’ll probably have to wait until our twins to get a bit older to really hope they get my meaning. Gifts, like hugs, containing a bit of the giver is the cornerstone of what makes a gift memorable.
